What’s January 2024 been like for me?

Relinquishing control, focusing on body and mind, and trying new things manifests the unexpected

Photo by Glen Carrie on Unsplash

It’s been about a month since I stopped writing the newsletter to focus on fiction writing and myself, and I have to say I feel pretty good right now. If you would indulge me just a bit, I’d like share some thoughts, changes, and actions this month.

1. I’ve returned to getting 30 minutes of cardio workout three to five times a week. We have a VR headset and use an app called “Supernatural” that puts boxing and flow (using “bats” to hit targets) workouts to music of all genres. Although Supernatural gamifies working out, I wholly focus on moving my body and listening to its limitations, as well as its desire to continue with one more workout. I don’t care about points or levels or spending more than 30 minutes. I care about how my mind, emotions, and body feel during and after these sessions. I can tell you that all of those feel exponentially better.

2. I’ve also returned to meditating. In fact, I sit for a short meditation in the headset after my workout. Adding this practice to my routine has helped me find the source to habits and attitudes that don’t benefit me. Meditation has brought some tough questions forward.

   1. Like, why am I so angry and frustrated all the time? Long story short — it’s a control issue. I’ll save the long explanation for another time.

   2. Who am I and what is my purpose? This one is taking more than a month to draw conclusions.

   3. The unguided meditation gives me time to just breathe and stretch, feeling tightness in my body and breathing into those areas, giving them a gentle, longer push and alleviating the tension.

   4. The biggest difference since adding meditation has been that my mind is calmer and my tolerance of other people seems to be much greater.

3. I’m more attentive to my diet, making sure I consume appropriate portions and limit calories, but mainly eating clean and healthy to nourish my body and manage insulin resistance.

4. After having percolator coffee at a friend’s house, we immediately bought our own. I had always been intimidated by percolators my grandma and mom used when I was growing up, but after our friend explained how easy it was to navigate, we took the plunge—and never want to go back. I’ve never had a better cup of coffee—and I’ve had a LOT of coffee. Making a pot takes more effort, but is worth it one hundred percent.

5. I’ve started eating avocados for a healthier option than salted butter (the real stuff) on my morning egg sandwich (on Keto bread). It’s so yummy! I mix avocado, boiled eggs, and jalapeños and top a couple slices of toast. Much healthier—352 calories, 3 grams of net carbs—and filling enough to hold off hunger until lunch or after.

6. I ordered new air and water filters for the refrigerator we bought six months ago. My guess is it has a setting to notify replacement every six months, but I didn’t want to take a chance and damage such an expensive appliance. (Isn’t my life exciting?)

7. I read great books this month, many of them older, because I’m being diligent about reading the books I own. My finished list includes:

   1. Look Closer by David Ellis

   2. Master of the Game by Sidney Sheldon

   3. Magic Hour by Kristin Hannah

   4. Lark Ascending by Silas House

   5. Have You Seen Luis Velez? by Catherine Ryan Hyde

   6. Take Me With You by Catherine Ryan Hyde

   7. Stormy Weather by Carl Hiaasen

   8. I Have Some Questions For You by Rebecca Makkai

   9. The Project Management and A Guide to the Project Management Book of Knowledge (PMBOK) Guide by Project Management Institute

   10. CAPM Exam Prep Flashcards (PMBOK Guide, 6th Edition) by Belinda Goodrich (yes, it’s a book)

   11. Open House by Elizabeth Berg

   12. Ordinary Life by Elizabeth Berg

   13. Remarkably Bright Creatures by Shelby Van Pelt

8. I’m also reading three other books right now, but don’t expect to finish them before the end of the month. They are:

   1. The Creative Act: A Way of Being by Rick Rubin

   2. Until I Find You by John Irving

   3. Certified Associate in Project Management (CAPM) Exam Official Cert Guide by Pearson

9. You may have picked up on this—I’ve been studying since about October to take the CAPM exam, which has been hella-hard. I’ve taken the practice test countless times and can’t pass the damned thing to save my life. So, I continue to study. Hence, the books I’m reading.

10. I can’t believe this one myself—We took our very first dance lesson and had so much fun that we want to take more! The instructor said my husband has good rhythm. He did not say that about me, but maybe he will after a few more trips across the dance floor.

Here’s the biggest lesson from this month:

When you relinquish control, you can expect the unexpected.

Our fiercely independent younger son moved 1,000 miles away almost six years ago. We never expected him to return to this state, although we not-so-secretly wished for it. After coming home for Christmas for the first time in five years, he realized he missed his family. And he’s moving back.

I have been on a long journey of stepping back and relinquishing control (or feigned control). And the unexpected happened.

Thank you for sticking with me this long. Be well, be safe, and be happy.