Hello, my friend, it’s been a while…
I missed sharing highlights from April with you, because I wrote a rather edgy, important letter but then panicked that you would judge me. (Yes, I know I said I was writing these letters for me, but I do value what you think.) And then I started battling with myself on whether to just stop writing at all. All or nothing—that’s my MO.
I have no clue how many times in the past 35 years my husband has asked me why something has to be all the way or no way—let’s just say it’s a lot. Now we realize that “all or nothing” is common with adult ADHD.
I’m either hyper-focused or staring into space.
I’m either organizing all the closets or motionless on the couch with my phone plunging down the TikTok rabbit hole.
I’m either super confident or repeating “I’m sorry” every few sentences.
I’m either overly motivated, spewing creative ideas as fast as they can form in my brain, or I’m giving up on the only thing I’ve wanted to do since I was 12–write.
And that’s where I found myself last month. This letter is the result of getting some clarity and returning to my creative journey. I’ll even share that controversial letter in upcoming weeks.
April Check-In
The Highlight
Work events took up most of my time, including some weekend events, so I didn’t focus much on writing or reading or traveling. The most memorable event—and the high point of my month—was officiating my niece’s wedding.
I met my niece’s mother—my sister—when we both were 33. That’s an interesting story for another time, but it briefly explains one reason why bonding with my niece has been so important to me. The other reason is that up until her sister was killed in a drunk-driving crash with a train, we didn’t really know each other. I think her mother and I figured there’d always be time to get together, but then we realized “always” was a lie.
As I watched from a distance, I envied the bond and memories the attendees had with her. I expect that will fuel our relationship moving forward.
Books
I only read four books this month, but enjoyed each one:
Cannery Row by John Steinbeck (a reread from my senior year of high school)
Dirty Laundry by Richard Pink and Roxanne Emery
The Reader by Bernhard Schlink
One Italian Summer by Rebecca Serle
If you’d like me to include a synopsis and my opinion of books in future letters, just hit the comment button below.
Ready… Set… Run
My husband started running to support me. I had a lifelong desire to run, and he donned running shoes and trained alongside me. He started off walking while I ran—he’s fast and I’m slow. When he decided to run, he fell in love.
We ran in 5Ks several times a year, and then he picked up longer races. Fast forward to 2023 and I had my right knee replaced in July and the left in October with the surgeon’s strict orders to give up running.
After that, my husband stopped running, too, but he had the desire burning inside him. Finally in April, he jumped back in and ran four 5Ks last month through this past weekend.
I tag along and cheer him on, and some races I may decide to walk, but being there for him is more important to me right now. I don’t miss running as much as I thought. I’ve found other ways to get fit… that, too, will be a different letter. Subscribe so you don’t miss it.
Other Stuff in April and May (so far)
We put up a white picket fence that my father-in-law built as his winter project. Not an easy task, but the end result is nice.
I replaced a redbud tree that I planted to commemorate my grandma’s 100th birthday with a lilac bush, which is actually more appropriate because she had one in her front yard.
I accompanied my dad and sister as he had surgery to remove basal cell carcinoma from his ear—all removed.
I spent time with another niece—who I lovingly refer to as “my girl”—but I’m not sure she knows that. Well, she does now. We spent a lot of time walking and feeding cats around her neighborhood. She has such a huge, generous heart.
We had two trees that had grown together removed from the backyard. Someday, we’ll replace them with a healthy tree.
We attended concerts by King Bee and the Stingers and Hank Ruff and the Hellbenders, the second of which was a fundraiser for Stone Belt, an agency that provides support to people with disabilities. Both were excellent shows. If you get the chance to see either, don’t miss it.
I got a nasty case of sun poisoning. Yes, I usually wear sunscreen. I don’t expect to forget it again after that mess.
Finally painted and rearranged my office to make it more conducive to creativity and focus—we’ll see how that works.
Changes and Saying Goodbye
The house is quiet. Too quiet. No jingling tags. No annoying nails tick-tick-ticking across the wood floor. No barks greeting me at the door. No snouts dangerously close to my rear as I move from room to room.
The floors look bare without the many beds and blankets in each room that allowed the aging, ailing pups to have comfy, soft spots near us.
We really hoped they would decide to go on their own because we couldn’t bring ourselves to make that final decision. But this past week, they went south fast and we finally had to do what was best for them.
I’m referring, of course, to our sons’ dogs that have been under our guardianship for many years as the boys navigated their lives.
The Dred Pirate Fireball Wilson Roberts—or just Willy—was the first to join our family. The largest Jack Russell terrier we’d ever seen, Willy came from a litter of pups born to my parents’ dogs. Our younger son bonded with him immediately and, once weaned, he came to stay.
Samantha “Sammie” Granger arrived about six months later when our older son fell in love with that fluffy ball of red fur. This took us by surprise because he had been grieving his childhood dog for a couple years and showed no interest in another.
That was 14 years ago. Willy and Sammie have been part of our family for so long and it’s difficult living I our house without them. I still expect them to be there when we get home or hear them bark.
They were loyal and faithful and, sometimes, a pain in the ass, and life simply won’t be the same without them.
Dont stop writing ! I look forward to reading your posts 🤗